Bash

Last saturday me and Tye drove off to meet some loonies. Don't worry, they're harmless, and he's met them before, but as this was my first time meeting them I was still a bit apprehensive as they had only been names on a screen to me. Oh no wait, that's not entirely true, I had met two of them before. Anyway... After driving around for an hour, following instructions by Yoda on the TomTom satnav, we finally got there.

There were lots of people already, lots of booze, some chilli, later on someone went to get chippies, and as it was someone's birthday, there were balloon cock-hats and cake too. Pony-cake and bum-cake with a huge goatse on top. (If you must, you can google for goatse, but whatever you do, do NOT do that on either an empty stomach or after having just had your food, or while eating, and definately not while at work! So in other words, maybe you should just try and resist googling this.) And of course the biggest topic of conversation was sex, whether it was bumming, dogging or the very explicit explanation of space docking. (Again: try and resist)

Tye on the other hand got more and more lovely as he got more and more drunk. He kept saying how much he loved me, how happy he was I said 'yes', and how pretty he thought I looked. Which of course I did. He said some other things as well, but let's not go into that.

Later that night, or very early that morning, after all the booze, the talking, the Guitar Hero and the Karaoke (not me, not me! Don't worry!) it was time for bed. As we were not going to share a futon with 2 other people (I wish someone had taken a picture of those four that did, they looked so very cute) or sleep on the kitchen floor, we got our brand new tent out of the car and tried to set it up. Picture this: 4 o'clock in the morning, me cold, Tye drunk, not enough light to read the instructions, both of us not having set up any tent for a number of years. Let's just say we got it up, but it looked nothing like the picture on the bag it came in. The foam matrasses that came with it were far too thin, the sleeping bags too straight jacket-like, the ground too hard and too cold, but other than that, it was perfect. Tye was snoring within 2 seconds, I was awake for about half an hour and then finally fell asleep as well.

I woke up again at 6.15, and for about an hour I tried to decide whether or not I should get out of the sleeping bag, get dressed and get inside the house to use the toilet. 'I'm not going, but I need the toilet, but I don't want to go outside, but I need the toilet, but it's cold outside, but I need the toilet, I'm sure I can hold it for another hour, but I neeeeeeed the toilet!' And so finally, at 7.15, I did get dressed, got inside the house, tip toed up to the bathroom (this is the second house I've been to that only has a toilet upstairs in the bathroom. I've never seen that in Holland, it would be the other way around there..) did what needed to be done and got back downstairs again, only to learn that one of the people sleeping on the kitchen floor had been sick about an hour ago. I never smelled anything or found any evidence! I was so pleased. He could've easily had decided to go out in the garden next to our tent, but instead he got upstairs to go to the bathroom and cleaned up after himself!

I got back into the tent, got back to sleep for about an hour, woke Tye up and we then had some breakfast and coffee. Yes, I had coffee too, only because there was no tea.

Yoda got us back safely, we popped by McDonald's for McChicken on the way, and then we got back in bed for more wonderful, wonderful sleep on wonderful, wonderful bed with soft matrass and nice duvet and no cold floor.

Our pictures of the bash can be found here, if you really want to see what the loonies look like.